You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
