So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
