She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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