im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
