No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
