ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
