Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
