she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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