Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
My ass is underappreciated
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
