Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
