Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
