Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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