My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
