How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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