Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Randomize
