I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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