How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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