no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
