i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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