Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
