Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
