The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
How external is "for external use only"?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
