At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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