So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
last night I used snow as a chaser
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