How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
