OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Randomize
