i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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