You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
