Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
