U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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