Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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