he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
