I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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