Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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