my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
