I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Randomize
