he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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