You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
