Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
