The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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