She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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