I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
