So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
