It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
