Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
it's like heaven, but drunker
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Randomize
