He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
