Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
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