Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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