I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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