And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
