I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
