Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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