Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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