the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize