I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
