i just wanna soil my oats bro
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
