i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
this just has baby written all over it
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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