yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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