Ambien. No doubt about it.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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