peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
