HIV tests are more positive than that guy
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
