You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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