i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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