I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I had to cum in my sink.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
