u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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