new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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