found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
is that a dick in a sweater?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
