I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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