DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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