I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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