Are we in a gay sports bar?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
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