I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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