Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
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